change · creative writing · domestic violence

Here’s something no one knows

And to be honest I could be wrong and I never really thought about it until today. And I’m not even going to say what’s really going on in my mind due to trolls however…

I find myself wishing this year never happened. I want to erase everything from January 1st onward. 

But then again I don’t. Because I’ve never in my life felt so independent and strong. I never thought I’d take the steps I have. I never thought I’d be this.

I love me, for the first time in my life. I’m holding on to that feeling. When the days get tough and the nights are long I remember this feeling. 

So even though my years has been drenched with bad, there’s some good that came out of it. 

I found me. 

I got safe with my children. 

I’m here. 

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9 thoughts on “Here’s something no one knows

      1. That would require you to wish the last X number of years also had not happened. Which would mean you wouldn’t have your beautiful children. Don’t wish it never happened — that’s a path fraught with problems. Recognized it happened, grow from it, and be stronger than you were before.

      2. No. It’s just this year I want to erase. Or better yet I want to erase everything from last June until now. I’m not thinking about the past 28 years of my life. Just this last one. Out of all those years it feels like this year I lost the most, I hurt the most. I crumbled and lost myself. And though now I’ve found me again I wish t wasn’t those events that got me here

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