Monsters · Uncategorized

Fade Away

The monster is drowning her.
Over and over it’s rakes her soul with its sharp claws.
She can’t come up for air.

Swallowing nothing, taking in black.
She wants to disappear but she can’t.
The weight of life is strapped to her and brings her down
farther and farther down into the abyss.
Her life vest is missing and she’s choking on the darkness
the monsters consumed her with.
She can’t keep up.
She can’t let go.
Kicking her feet she can’t reach the surface.
Let go, she silently screams.
But it’s pointless.
No one hears her cry.
The monster laughs as she drowns in her demons.

Deeper and deeper into the abyss.

Deep into the darkness.
Slowly fading,
blacking out.
Jolting….

Into nothingness.

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10 thoughts on “Fade Away

  1. A co-worker texted me today and asked me if I was doing okay. I said that it was difficult question to answer. Your monster is different than my monster, but this post does a pretty good job of describing how I feel at times these days.

    1. I am so sorry that you can understand the feelings behind this post. I wouldn’t wish the monster on anyone. It’s the hardest obstacle in my life. This past week for some reason it’s a constant. Always there.

      1. And for some reason, I’m feeling it today as well. Again, different monsters, but there are moments when it’s difficult to see a path forward. At work. With my kids. With so many things. I just put my head down and keep motoring forward.

      2. I think there are things within myself I need to change to be able to battle my demons. Like complaining less. Trying new things. Going to new places. Meeting new people. It’s like the monster keeps me from doing all of that. I feel alone in a crowded room. I don’t want this anymore. But it’s hard to break old habits and hard to not think about certain things.

      3. Absolutely. Every day I say to myself that I am going to change some of my habits. Every day I fail. In so many ways. And instead of dwelling on those failures, I just need to start making the needed change. Step by step.

      4. Every morning I am convinced I can. By the end of the day … given the stresses of the day, it is just too easy to slide into and accept the habits. 🙂 I’ll get there, just very difficult to do it right now.

  2. I’m so glad to be following you!!!
    We are very different people. You a young single mother, me an old 38yrs married grandfather….but your writing reaches me. Thru your words I can understand (and sometimes feel) the emotions you put into your work.

    About today’s post….”The meds help.”

    1. Thank you for this comment! I’m glad my writing has reached you though sad to hear this post is the one.
      I don’t believe in medication though. I use more natural methods to bring me out of the darkness. Essential oils. Meditating. The gym. Stuff like that

  3. You’ve reached me with more than this post. I don’t think it’s the particular content but the emption that your words portray.

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