Calm me down

I’m trying to be nice and reasonable and calm right now but I am furious. This loser ex abuser of mine bought himself a motorcycle but has not contributed shit to his kids for months. He owes the kids $2000 in child support. 

I’m trying to not let it get to me but he promised me he would never be the dead beat he has turned out to be. Disappointment doesn’t cover what I’m feeling anymore. I tried not to hate him for all this but this on top of recent events that I can’t talk about (or probably can but won’t at this time) has mad me sick. 

How much of a low life can you be? Guess what sweetheart. Your kids want nothing to do with you and because of your actions probably never will. I try to tell them you still care and love them but by your actions maybe Ariana is right when she says no mommy. Daddy doesn’t love us anymore. Daddy only loves himself. 
Rant over. 

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10 comments

  1. Your frustration and rage is justified. But … there is nothing you can do about his choices now. Let it go. Let him go. The more he does this, the more he loses his children and the less you will have to have him involved in their lives. And by extension, yours.

    • I wish we never had to see or deal with him again but I know eventually he will have a right to see the kids. The question remains is if he will want to. He’s not hurting me by his actions. He’s hurting them.

      • Maybe he isn’t. Maybe, or likely, they are better off without him. The only person he is hurting is himself because he is denying himself the opportunity to have a place in his children’s lives.

      • Midge? MIDGE? Hmmm … I like it. You know what I always say … just keep moving forward. In these moments of frustration, keep remembering that, just keep moving forward. You have no control over his actions and you don’t want that control. Let him make his own mistakes and keep doing what is right for you and your little munchkins.

      • I’m doing all I can. It hurts that t doesn’t feel like it’s enough. It’s a struggle being a single parent of two. I have no time to breathe sometimes. No time to think about anything but how I’m going to put food in their bellys and clothes on their back. But at the end of the day they are my world and I wouldn’t change a thing. Sure life is hard as hell right now. But they know me. Today Ariana told me wow mommy you do everything for me. Why doesn’t daddy help? I just said I don’t know baby but thank you for realizing I’m busting my ass lol. It’s the little things

      • So, you know, no matter how much I did for my kids I never felt it was enough. There was always more I could do if only there were more hours in the day, more dollars in the bank account, more, more, more. Because of your situation, it’s even more difficult, but know that you are not alone in that feeling that it is not enough. It’s even the case with parents like me that still had another parent in the house and more financial resources available. It’s because you love your kids so much you want them to have everything. That isn’t possible. But you can give them your love, your protection, and everything you can within the resources you have available to you.

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