Off the record, I completely blame my husband for the predicament he has found himself in. I don’t hold any guilt (anymore) and lately I’ve lost the ability to feel sympathy. These feelings are all new to me. I guess I’m not used to not caring. I’m not saying I don’t care about him or don’t love him anymore. I do, though I wish I didn’t. I just feel like he has become such a major disappointment in my life, the only negative energy in my life that i have completely let him go. And on the record, I have never been so happy, so full of life.
I’ve made so many changes in my life recently, from dropping anything or anyone negative in my life to living each of my days with a positive purpose. I’m trying new things, meeting new people and the only question that lingers is, why didn’t I do this sooner?
I guess it just wasn’t my time. My time is now and its amazing. Sure, there are still so many unknowns in my life, but instead of dreading or anticipating what’s to come I’ve accepted what will be.. will be.
Some have said that I am not taking any responsibility for my actions that led my husband to hit me. Hmmm. Led. My husband. To hit. Me. Say that three times slow. I have said it before and I will say it again, there is nothing I could do to warrant the physical or verbal abuse I suffered.
At the end of the day, it seems my husband has no remorse for what he’s done, just regret he got caught. But again, at the end of the day we each know the truth of whats happened between us. We both know the good and the bad. I’m not suffering. I am well.
I hope he can say the same but I know him. I know his front. I know his lies.
Who knows. Maybe this forced therapy he’s doing will help him realize who he is.