There have been so many times where I’ve wanted to call him, not because I miss him. Truly I don’t. But I’ve never lived without him. Every time we moved he put all our stuff together, every time there was a problem he fixed it. He’s good like that. He’s smart.
So now I have some stuff to put together and something to fix and I automatically think oh Gabe will fix this or no problem. Gabe will put this together.
But no. Gabe won’t do anything. It’s all up to me.
So here I am doing it all myself. What a shocker right? I’m not complaining at all. I’m just feeling… honestly. I’m not sure. It’s so strange not having him in our new home.
I gave Ariana a picture of her and him together. She was happy to have it at first. But now she’s so confused as to why daddy isn’t in our new home. Sometimes she sad about it. But sometimes she tells me that she is so happy that he’s gone because I’m happy.
Truth is I’m not happy he is gone. I’m not happy he can’t see them. I’m not happy with any of that. However I’ve accepted it. I don’t seem to have s choice.
We had court today again and nothing happened. It doesn’t seem to the court that he’s trying hard enough to abide by their rules.
I can’t believe our lives are this way now. I can’t believe any of this.
But on the bright side I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I think I can finally move on.
I think I’m finally ready to let him go.