change · divorce · husband

Forgetting you. 

I’ve forgotten your scent and what you feel like. It’s been about three weeks since we’ve touched or spoken. How crazy is that? 

I remember when you would work overtime I would always sleep in the shirt you slept in last. I always would use your pillow. Your scent brought me such comfort. 

I remember how hard it was to sleep without you. How some nights I wouldn’t sleep at all. I have nothing of yours now. I don’t want it either. I have to move on. 

You must remember all that too I suppose. 

I wonder when I will finally be able to have a day where you are not on my mind. I guess it takes time. At least I can say I have many moments now where I don’t think of you. One day you’ll be far from my mind. I just have to be patient. 

A part of me is trying to forget all the good I ever saw in you partly because I need to let you go and partly because I’m not sure if that ever was the real you. I’m not sure of anything anymore when it comes to you. 

Goodnight. 🌙 


One thought on “Forgetting you. 

  1. “I wonder when I will finally be able to have a day where you are not on my mind.”

    This may never happen. It’s just a question of the how or why he pops into your mind. I’ll give you an example. I had that psycho girlfriend back in my 20s. There are all sorts of ways in which that relationship impacted me back than. And the reality is that it impacts me to this day. I’m pretty confident that a day hasn’t passed in the 25 years since I was able to evict her from my life that something hasn’t happened that has brought the memory of those years back to me. The lessons I learned from it, some of the experiences I had then, the regrets for the things that happened, etc. It’s always there … in one of the back corners of my mind. And we didn’t get married or have kids or spend as much time together as you did.

    So, he’ll always be there. It’s just a question of whether you allow him to move back into the shadows and not be such a force in your life.

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