You are not to blame. 

Are you aware that a common feeling for victims of domestic violence is I deserved it or it was my fault.

  No one deserves this and it is never your fault. 

Regardless if you are a male or female victim you are not to blame. Your abuser made a choice. Probably several choices over a long period of time. You may not even be your abusers first victim. 

I didn’t want to believe it then, but I recently realized I wasn’t the first. What’s crazy to me is, in the beginning of our relationship, my husbands ex girlfriend tried to warn me. I remember the phone call and the texts that came with it warning me of his violent nature, his tendency to hurt both physically and emotionally. She was smart. She left him. And there I was so confused. What did I do? I called him. I told him what she told me and asked him if it was true. Was I not the first? Did he have a problem? In tears I cried to him to be honest with me. He told me the worst thing he did to her was push her and spit in her face. Both disgusting things to do but at the time I trusted him. I loved him. I believed him. 

I should have listened to her. 

Obviously I didn’t and here I am ten years later, a survivor in the making. 

Ladies and gentlemen. If you are a victim of abuse it is not your fault. It doesn’t matter what you did or what they think you did, how much you flirted, if you were too nice to others, not nice enough, got along with their family or didn’t etc. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. NONE. 
and anyone who tries to tell you different is just as bad as the one who who abused you. You can not make excuses for these people. 

So keep your head up. You are not at fault 😊



  1. I’m so proud of you. I know between the two of us the excuses we’ve made for them could fill a river, but we are on the other side now. We have been victims and now we can share with others and help them.

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