The signs were everywhere, I just couldn’t see them. 

You were warned I would not allow the abuse to continue. I doubt you believed me. Doubt you thought I called 911. 

There were so many signs you would succumb to the darkness inside you. So many time I prayed to God for a sign if I should continue to stay and try to help you or if I should just let you go. I should have let you go. The signs were all there, constant, unchanging. I didn’t see them for what they were at the time but I see them clearly now. The week before our last encounter, when you grabbed me up, stuck you fist against my chin. I didn’t notice it then but I was almost ready to leave. So close. I left. I didn’t come back that night. Didn’t call you or text you. But as always I came right back into your arms. Holding on to you, terrified of losing you. 

Crazy thing is you warned me you would do it again. You told me over and over. I ignored the signs. I allowed my love for you to overshadow everything. I allowed the feelings I have for you to cloud my judgement. Now I feel numb most of the time. You know me. For me, numbness is normally impossible. Now I can’t help but be numb. 

I’ll be ok. I hope one day you will too. 🖤


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