Until then…

I must have really been a horrible person in my past life. I mean I must have been completely horrid. I have been dealt a pretty shitty hand at this thing called life and I thank God for my children because if I’m completely honest with myself, if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t have anything to keep me going. Nothing. I am just that. Nothing. 

I wake up everyday hoping for the best. Not all my days are bad but that’s not what’s bothering me. What’s bothering me is I’m stuck in limbo. I’m stuck in a sad marriage with unreachable dreams and goals that are so far away. It’s as if no matter how far I reach I can barely brush it with my fingertips. I’m broke and every opportunity I have to make more money gets squashed because I need child care and my husband is never around. I want to finish my book. I want to see something other than what I see. I want more. 

Where is more and how do I get there? No matter how hard I try it seems like it’s either not good enough or it doesn’t matter. I’m destined for failure I think. 

I just want to be able to look in the mirror one day and be like wow. You did that. Good for you. 
Until then….

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