When we talk it’s like talking to a robot. He seems to have no feelings. No emotions. He’s dead set on leaving. He says he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore. Why can’t I just accept it and move on?
The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Denial: I’m there. I keep thinking he’s going to just walk in the door and give me a kiss. Every time my phone rings I flinch thinking its him. I just want to feel like he cares I guess.
Anger: I should be angry. There’s a lot I have to be angry for. But I’m not. I completely skipped the anger stage of grief. I almost wish it would come and take over the depression that has hit me.
Bargaining: I refuse to do this. I normally do but this time I won’t.
Depression: this is where I spend my days and nights. I cry at least three times an hour. I try not to cry every single minute. How did we end up here? Why can’t I shake the sadness?
Acceptance: I want to accept that this is my life now. I need to accept this. I can’t. Regardless of all the wrong with us, somehow my heart still feels the love was right.
I’m so sad today.