Here we go. He didn’t come home today and he’s not here tonight. Plus he works. He said he’d see me tomorrow but I told him no since the kids will be at school. He said ok. We hung up. This is so awkward for me. I have no idea how to act around him and no clue how to respond to him. This is hard. I cry all the time, and I hold it in and then I cry harder. It’s painful.
At least he’s not hitting me right? That’s what he said today. He never wants to hit me again. He doesn’t want to be mean anymore.
I just wish I could finish with the depression part and move on.
I don’t know how much I will be writing in the coming weeks. It’s hard to see past my pain and the monster is now a constant presence. I can’t even ignore it anymore.
This is going to be rough, but I appreciate all the kind words and support I can get. There has to be a good thing to come out of this. I just wish I could see what it was.