When you feel raped again

The man who raped me twelve years ago is only five feet away. Hes working next to me and I can’t get away. My skin is crawling and I’m trying not to shake. I’m not afraid of him, I keep telling myself. It’s not working but I keep chanting only head, you’re ok, you’re ok. 

I’m not ok. Im sweating and freezing, my face is flushed. My legs won’t stop shaking. How am I supposed to make it till the end of my shift?

Just breathe. I keep telling myself. 

Until he says hi to me and now I can’t run. I can’t escape. His eyes are staring at me and his smile is sickening. I’m going to be sick. 

How am I supposed to make it until the end of my shift? 

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