Baby Steps: VIBS

He came home last night. He didn’t go to work. He’s distant and doesn’t want to talk. 

domestic_violence_by_troublesome_life
by: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Domestic-Violence-80354786

The one step I made last night was calling the VIBS hotline. The girl on the phone told me I need to go to the police, especially because he keeps doing it in front of my children. He even told me he needs to be locked up. He says he doesn’t care anymore. Why can’t I make that step? Why is it so hard for me to accept that he doesn’t think he will ever change? I’m so sad right now. I’m filled with this uncomfortable feeling of sadness, and loneliness, and confusion. I was going to call VIBS again and see what kind of options I have for the kids and I. I’m scared. I am completely afraid of the unknown. I should go today. Just pack up everything and go. I should have went to the police.

God someone please tell me what’s wrong with me!!!!

Well I can’t go right now. Even if I wanted to. I babysit today until 530. After? Should I go? Yes… Will I? Probably not.

 

…and knowing that just makes me ever more sad…

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