Lately I can’t help but feel the same way I felt after I was raped. Dirty. Disgusted. Confused. Used. I feel like my husband has no respect for me.
One night, about four years ago, my husband and his friend were drinking at our condo. My husband got too drunk and I had to put him to bed upstairs. I wasn’t going to let his friend drive home so I went to check on him and to also grab a bottle for my daughter. He slid his hand on my ass and then proceeded to text me that it sucks that my husband would wake up if he fucked me. The next day, after he left, I showed my husband the text message. They stopped talking after that.
My husband and I started going to marriage counseling this year. It’s been going ok. We still have ups and downs but at least we are actively working on it. In one of the sessions my husband mentioned several times how he has no friends.
Initially when I reached out to his old friend for my husband I felt bad. I thought my husband could use a buddy and since he randomly started rapping what better person than his old rap buddy, since they used to do that all the time. You see I forgave his friend for what happened in the past because I just figured he was drunk.
They started hanging out again and ever since I have had just a bad feeling in my gut about the friendship. They are so different, and it is apparent when they are together. His friend is single with no children or major responsibilities, drinks almost every day, and has no respect for his girlfriend. My husband is married with children, drinks occasionally.. etc. Ever since they started hanging out again, my husband has slowly started to act like his friend.
The last time we saw his friend they were drinking in our apartment. I was on the couch watching tv and his friend came up to me and said “I should let Gabe fuck my girlfriend and I can fuck you.” Later on that night he slapped my ass right in front of my husband. My husband didn’t say a word.
The next morning, I told him what his friend had said. I asked him why he didn’t say anything to him when he smacked my ass. He doesn’t seem to care. He said he would talk to him but he hasn’t mentioned it. They still just talk about nonsense and rap and drink way too much together.
I’m sick over this. I feel like my husband thinks this is OK. Its not. What can I do? Every time I bring it up he just changes the subject or just shrugs his shoulders. I am extremely uncomfortable with this friend, and now I feel uncomfortable around my husband. =(
Please feel free to leave me some suggestions. We don’t have therapy until Wednesday and I have emailed the therapist. I just don’t know if I can wait that long.