Until We Meet Again.

I see you lurking in the shadows of my soul, waiting for the moment to strike. I’m desperately trying to fight you off but your grip is firm. Tonight, my will to keep you at bay feels stronger than you. I seem to have found the strength to fight you off, at least for one night. I can’t let my guard down tonight, for you will strike and I will be at your mercy.

Your claws are raking me, its a bearable but uncomfortable pain and I dread each tear. I hold on tight to what is left of me. You won’t win tonight. Not tonight. Tonight I am the monster and you are my prey. I will fight you for the night, just one night.

Your words are echoing in my head, over and over. I make an arduous effort to ignore it but I fail every time. Even today I have failed to keep your words at bay. Though your words aren’t enough to take me over, they are enough to leave a mark.

My lungs are laboring, you’re holding on too tight. My hands are beginning to shake with the effort it is taking me to keep you from taking over me. Curling into a ball, I rock myself, attempting to sooth you, monster. Please let me be, I beg. I repeat it, over and over and over, praying and hoping you will show some mercy. You don’t. You never do. Instead you grin and open your arms waiting for me to jump right in. I don’t want to but I’m not as strong as I thought.

Wait. Maybe I am. I can keep you at bay for a while longer. Fighting you off may be taxing, but I am capable of coming out on top.

I created you. For now, I can make you disappear. Goodbye monster. Until we meet again.

NKhVZ9I

 

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3 comments

  1. […] Slowly, too slowly, the monster inside me recedes. Not completely. It lingers and leaves hints of itself throughout me. I feel them. It’s nauseating. The blackness won’t let up. The demon won’t let go. It’s loosened it’s hold for now, only to trick me into a sense of security that it will strip from me at any possible moment. For now, the monster lives inside of me. Slowly leaking and receding itself into my most inner depths. For now, I am somewhat safe. For now I am somewhat calm. For now, I can somewhat hang on. Until the monster comes for me again… […]

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