I wanted to forget you. I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried, no matter the distance. Somewhere in the far recesses of my mind the memory of you would linger. It’s kept me captive this whole time. Love does that to you I guess. Makes you hold on to someuone even when they’re breaking your heart.
It is hard. It’s hard to let go of someone once you’re in so deep with them. Eventually however, you come to realize that the pain they cause you isn’t ok. You notice that the breaks in your heart can’t really be repaired, and that’s not ok. No one wants to go through life with a constant bleeding heart. I wish I could say that the bleeding stops but it doesn’t. It slows, lessens. Never does it truly stop. Not for that sort of love.
I moved on. I found a better love than I had ever known. I cherished it and held it tight. It was a love that helped me mend the broken pieces, helped me forget about the pain. This love though came with its own brand of pain and who do I come running to hoping to fix the pieces? You. It’s always you. It always has been.
Does everything happen for a reason? Are we meant to be a constant in each other’s lives and if so why? What is this glue that keeps separating us but pulling us back together?
You say you learned to let me go but did you really? I don’t think you did. I can see it in your eyes. Those gorgeous eyes of yours that seem to hold a million secrets. When you look at me it’s like I can see into your soul. It’s scary. There’s so much of you that you hold back, so much you keep to yourself. But when we’re together and your eyes look into mine everything you’re not saying is speaking to me. You never let me go. You never forgot me. And here I am. Years later still trying to lose my emotions. Still trying to run and hide from this love. It’s no good for either of us.
Yet here we are.incapable of losing our feelings. Unable to shake the past and completely forget what we once had.