For the First Time in Forever…

I’ve been depressed with low self-esteem for a while now. I wish I could say I’m used to it but every time I look in a mirror or put on my clothes I want to disappear. Today was the same as any other day… until I broke my glasses. I got lucky enough to get an appointment so off I went. I was seen fairly quickly and found a nice pair of glasses (FREE) even quicker. I got dilated and then as I was talking to the guy about ordering contacts (a first for me) I looked to my left and saw a beautiful young girl staring back at me. Curly brown/red/blonde hair shaping her somewhat round face. She had a slightly dimpled smile she flashed back at me. Looking more closely I saw her dimpled chin, and her broken glasses. The same broken glasses that I was wearing. The same because the girl was looking at me from a mirror. The girl was me. And for the first time in forever I felt like me. I felt beautiful and well kept. And I liked it.

You see, if you know me you know that I tend to dress to impress whether I’m going out with my girls, on a date with my husband, or to target I always make sure I’m dressed how I like, my hair is done, and I’m feeling great about me. I haven’t done that in years. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to. I just haven’t had the energy.

Today wasn’t much different from most days however I felt the need to dress close to how I used to, with a tight fitting black tank and a nice bright pink have sweater on top. My jeans are too big but they were all I had at the time. I had on sandals from ten years ago. I did my hair, curly (which I normally hate but eh I looked good today), slapped on some mascara and bright pink lipstick and went on with my day. I felt good. I felt great. I felt as close to me as I’ve felt in a very long time. And I loved it. Maybe it’s my eyes (since I’ve been dilated hmmm..) But I loved me today.

I even laughed uncontrollably with my husband. It was the greatest feeling. Laughing together, seeing his handsome smile looking at me. What a great break from the lowness I’ve been stuck in. What a great day to be me.

 

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5 comments

  1. I had a friend who I used to say this to: When you look in the mirror look at yourself the way the people who love you and care about you look at you. Not through your always critical eye. 😉

    And glad you laughed uncontrollably with your husband today. That’s an all too important, yet all too infrequent event.

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