With this I shook my head in wonder and then cried hysterically for about an hour. I was enraged and even though I wasn’t entirely surprised I was still a little shocked.
I am not one to track my periods by the day. I used to before I sold my iPhone and lately I’ve been guesstimating. Yes, I want a separation from my husband but I find it hard to not have sex with the bastard. Don’t judge me. For those of you who know me, you know I am a very sexual being. Anyway, Yesterday, before the dojo awards dinner and right after work I stopped by the CVS and picked up a pregnancy test. I believe my last period was either the 21st or 23rd of December. It is now the 25th, my boobs think that it is subzero temperatures all the time (they are peaking if you know what I mean), I’ve been on and off nauseous and I cannot stay awake for more than a few hours without a jolt of coffee.
So I get home and luckily Ariana is asleep. I take my test and step into the bathroom. Open the box. Take out the test. Piss in a cup (actually I peed into a small Tupperware bowl… I didn’t have a suitable cup) and then stick the stick into said cup for twenty seconds. Time seems to stop as I place the test on the counter and await the pee to make its mark. Tick tick tick. And then this is what I am greeted with…..
wait for it…..
Holy fuck my life.
I couldn’t stop crying.
I can’t help but think that he did this on purpose, does that make me insane? He rarely cums inside me. The only exception is if I am about to have or have just had my period. He did so four times. And now I’m pregnant. Blood hell is a god damn understatement.
So what do you do when you’re pregnant with someone who you don’t want to be pregnant with?
I am not upset anymore. I’ve come to peace with it and am still figuring out what I am going to do. He say’s that regardless if I stay with him or I leave him he will support me as best he can, just like he does now. Oh boy. I am in for a tough year. I’ve always loved being a mom and I believe I am very good at it.
Bring it on 2014.
Those of you at the WeDrinkInspiration’s probably weren’t expecting this kind of surprise. Well, I wasn’t either.
By the way, whoever is reading this is the first to know. I haven’t told family or friends or anyone. Except for my best friend Nina and Gabe no one knows. And for now that’s how I want to keep it.