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I have known fear.

I have known fear many times throughout my life. Have you met fear? Surely, you would never want to. There is a difference, so you know, between fear and being scared.

I have known fear.

I know fear now.

There’s an anxiety in my chest today.

It’s fear knocking on my door.

It’s brought tears to my eyes and choked me of breath.

I know fear.

In a dark room with no light while a finger delves inside you, and you don’t know who it is, and they don’t stop.

I know fear.

Locked in a room with someone you thought you knew, as they hold a knife to your neck and make you do things you never thought you’d do.

I know fear.

Running, running, running through the night, hoping he can’t catch up to you… he’s right on your heels.

I know fear.

Strike after strike to your face, for no reason other than to continue to strike.No one to tell.

I know fear.

Your blood pressure is rising and rising and rising and the baby is coming coming coming.

I know fear.

An old friend dies leaving behind a son the same age as your daughter.

I know fear.

Fear chokes you in the middle of the night. It is not your friend. It does not let go. It holds on to you and slowly takes you over.

I know fear. Fear makes your chest tighten second by second, until you feel as if your ribs may crack.

I am not one to fear.
I am one to overcome.

This time though, I fear for so much.

My life.

My child.

Our future.

The life of my unborn child, if it is so.

I fear.

Survival?

Freedom calls to me everyday. I don’t answer the phone. I fear the unknown.

I fear.

 

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photo courtesy of : http://1ms.net/be-afraid-happy-tree-friends/

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8 thoughts on “I have known fear.

      1. I wish I knew what to say or do to help. All I can think of this … you have it in yourself, in your soul, to pull yourself out of this. It takes a strength you may wonder whether you have, but you do have it.

      2. I have it but the fear is always there. It chokes you to the point where you become uncertain if you are making the right moves. What if I leave and this happens. What if I stay and this happens. Its a never ending cycle with no end in sight.

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