First short story of the year.

Just something I’ve been inspired by in the New Year. Ejjoy… It’s not finished. Merely a story in my head.

 

Image

 

I won’t tell you his name. I won’t ever tell you that. I promised I would keep our interactions to myself and for these past few months I’ve done exactly that. I’ve never mentioned him once in my journal or even to my best friend. I’m not at all ashamed of the bond we have formed through our hundreds of emails. The truth is, I think I’m in love with him and I know he will never feel the same way.

We live on opposite ends of the Earth. Over three thousand miles are between us and yet when we write to each other I could swear he is sitting here with me digesting my words and adding to our conversation. As I sit here in this small cafe on the coast, with the wind blowing the wooden sign out front making it whistle and the waves visible to me from the not so distant shore, I contemplate how to confess to my long distanced friend that I’ve crossed the line where mild infatuation has now turned into an intense emotion. I’ve fallen for my pen pal and I’ve never even met him.

He’s twenty years my senior, but age has never mattered to me. In fact, I’ve always found myself more attracted to men older than me than those my age probably because the so called men my age really aren’t men at all. They are just over grown toddlers hiding behind a suit or a smile. They’re all the same and all without the knowledge of a man my secret pals age. Age is nothing but a number.

Sipping on my latte, my tablet on the old wooden table in front of me and my butt permanently imprinted on the old wooden chair beneath me from all the years I’ve sat here to write and to read, i cannot fathom where to start.

Dear Pal…

No. I can’t tell him. If I tell him and he doesn’t reciprocate the feelings I’m 100% going to lose him. I can’t lose him. These path months were hell for me until I finally found him. Actually he found me. A random email and that is all it took. An across the world connection was all it took for me to step out of my boundaries.

Michael,
Don’t you think it’s crazy how, many months ago, I was here sitting in the same spot that I always sit thinking that life for me was over? In a relationship with an abusive man, no family or close enough friends to run to for advice or shelter. I was burned so badly I never thought I could become alive again. The crazy part about this is that same day is the day I received your first email. A sign no doubt and it had me wondering today where I would be if we knew each other face to face instead of through a screen. Have you ever thought about that? What it would be like to meet me? We have so much in common and have gone hours and hours back and forth through email. I wonder sometimes what it would be like, does that make me crazy?
Celine ❤

And now the wait. What? You really thought I was going to just come out and say it? Hey Michael, this whole time we’ve been corresponding via email I’ve been falling for you? I know your older and so far away but none of that matters to me! Yeah. I don’t think so.

 

Ding.

Oh wow. He must be online if he’s writing me back already. With trembling fingers, I click the email.

Celine,
I’ve often thought about what life would be like if you and I were not so far apart. If we could exchange words face to face instead of over the internet. I often find myself, especially on the times where I’m feeling down, what your laugh sounds like. I know the people around you in that small cafe you’ve told me so much about love it. I can picture your laugh but for the life of me I can’t picture its sound. That, my dear, has been troubling me today after reading your email.
It makes you completely sane by the way to wonder what I am like in person, especially since I so often wonder the same thing about you. 
Michael

Ok. That’s a start I think. Now what? Like always I think I’ll just let the words flow. Here I go.

 

Michael,
I’ve been wondering lately what your opinion of me is. Would you care to share?
Celine

Celine,
My opinion on you is quite different from what you may think it might be. I thought that, because of our age difference, I would view you as more of a daughter. I’ve come to change my mind. You may be young Celine, but your age says nothing about the wisdom you have shared with me. You are an extremely wise and talented young woman who I hope to meet in person one day, if only to hear that laugh.
Michael

—————————————————————————————————

Michael,
I’m glad you don’t picture me as your daughter. I actually feared you might.
Celine

 

I hear the whistle of the sign and as I glance up I see quite a handsome man walk in the door. Possibly in his mid to late forties, with laptop in hand he sits at the table across from mine. His white shirt is opened at the top allowing me a nice view of his pecs and salted chest hair. I’m a sucker for love. What can I say? He looks at me and smiles and orders his drink and goes to typing on his computer.

DING!

Celine,
Let’s make a promise that one day we will indeed meet, even if it’s not for a long time. Why would you fear me picturing you as a daughter?
Michael

—————————————————————————————————

I don’t know what it is about this guy that walked in and is now sitting in my direct view but he seems familiar. I know looking at him I’ve never met him before.

Michael,
Do you ever see someone and for some reason you feel like you know them but you know you don’t? I’m sitting in my usual spot and there’s a new guy here. It’s a weird feeling.
I fear it I guess because I picture you as a great friend to me and I guess I just hope you would see me on that level as well.
Celine

I look outside and there on the sign is a light blue bird sitting in between two darker blue birds. For a minute, it looks as if the two dark birds are fighting for the lighter birds attention. It makes me smile and before I can help it I laugh out loud. Like always, the sound of my life brings smiles to the customers and staff of the cafe and when I finish I look up and new guy is staring at me with the most handsome smile I have ever seen. Then he looks down at his computer and begins to type. I continue staring out the window watching the intense situation on the sign.

DING!

Celine,
That was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. Thank you.
Michael
—————————————————————————————————

What are you talking about?

Celine

—————————————————————————————————

Celine,
Your laugh. It’s better than I ever imagined it could be.
For our earlier conversation, when we meet it will be at your beloved cafe. I will walk in under the sign you say whistles and sit in view of you. I will steal glimpses and let me tell you now how beautiful you are. I will bide my time until you realize that the handsome man you described is in fact your pal from the internet and is quietly waiting for you to invite him to sit with you at your beloved table.
Michael

—————————————————————————————————

For a second I glance up again at the handsome stranger. It can’t be him. He’s all the way across the world right now, not even in the same time zone. And how could he find me really. All the way over here at my little cafe overlooking the Atlantic.

He’s smiling at me now. Could this really be him? No. It couldn’t. He’d never be able to find my small town or my cafe or my wooden sign with the whistle and the birds or….

Or could he?

 

© Christina Laureano 01/2014

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s