Something to think about for the new year

It’s the end of 2013 and oh what a year it has been. I accomplished nothing that I said I would and have only added to what seems like my endless debt. Though I was almost convinced the struggles of my marriage were over I recently got smacked in the face with truth and realized that they are only just beginning. Change. A small word with such meaning behind it. So simple to say but so utterly hard to achieve. Thinking about it hard only gives me one conclusion….

I’m happy with who I am.
There’s nothing I want to change in myself. …
Except my choices and the way I have gone about my life.

So I don’t want to exclaim that now is the time to make a change because honestly I should have made a change in my life ten years ago. I thought I knew everything and could walk on water. Boy was I wrong. These mistakes have continually taught me the same thing. Listen to that inner voice inside you. Let it run free. Your conscience is a powerful powerful thing. If I had listened to my gut all those years ago I wouldn’t be here. I’d be in California, or Hawaii, or Florida, or Puerto Rico, Spain maybe Europe. I’d be single. I probably wouldn’t be a mother yet. I’d have a bachelors en route to my masters. I would have seen much more of the world than Long Island.

But I can’t honestly say that I would change my past. The only thing I’ve ever wanted with my entire being is to be a mother. If changing any of my past would change that I wouldn’t dare touch it.

So now what? I can’t grab a time machine, not sure I would even want to… where do I go from here?

Well, I stop convincing myself that things are ok when I know they aren’t. I stop settling for less. I stop this nonsense of staying in my miserable marriage because its more convenient financially. I stop working for no reason and working instead to better myself. I stop letting my emotions rule me and instead look at choices objectively. I stop settling at all.

I don’t want to make a new years resolution. They work for the first week and then life gets in the way. But I do have some goals I want to accomplish in the coming year.

I want to see someplace new. Even if it’s just for a few days. Money is always tight but thats no reason not to take a plunge and just do something once in a while. (Sesame place is a definite this year and although that is someplace new I mean someplace other than a world of muppets and puppets and counting.)

I want to start a novel. I have so many ideas circling my head, so many short stories to turn into something spectacular. I want to publish something and see my words in print.
I should probably learn how to self publish an e- book.

I want to make more jewelry. I’m very creative and pretty crafty. I want to put my skills to use. Maybe even make an outfit for me and my daughter.

I want to see a beautiful sunrise, and have a tea at a beautiful sunset.

I want to go camping. Even though I hate bugs, I dont like tents and I don’t want to hunt for my food. I still want to experience the thrill of camping.

I want to take my daughter horseback riding.

 I want to make new connections with people all over the world. (I’ve already started doing this and it has changed so much in my life. I am happier also because of the people I converse with via email. So thank you.
passionatedreamerblog@gmail.com)

I want to inspire someone.

See. No resolutions. All attainable goals.

What are your plans for the New Year? Do you have a resolution? Will you accomplish it? Tell me.

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4 comments

  1. I love your conclusion, and like you all I ever wanted to be was a mother. Enjoy the fresh new year and all the mistakes, lessons and love you can make from it. I’ve written a novel that was published as an e-book. It was through an Australian publisher. Good luck with all of your dreams.

    • Thank you Elissa! I am finally excited about all the possibilities for the coming year. I know what i want to write and already cant wait to get started.
      I hope the new year brings you everything you wish for!

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