I used to love the holidays. Any holiday. Didn’t matter which one. I would decorate as much as I was able to and be all holly jolly for the day. When my husband and I got together back in 2008 things stayed the same, although I decorated less and “played around” with him more. However, as the years went on and the strain between his parents (mainly his mother) and I grew to outrageous proportions, I’ve come to dread this once merry time. I know that sounds ridiculous, but if you knew the whole story you would understand.
Let me simplify this for you.
My now mother-in-law and I do NOT get along. Long story but in the end it comes down to the fact that I stay as far away from her as possible, and she always reciprocates the favor. Holiday’s come and of course my husband wants me to go with him to spend time at his parents house. Small, simple task correct? Um no. Actually it’s not. When you’ve been through what I have been through with this woman you develop such an uncomfortable feeling being around her. It gives me anxiety and I just don’t like it.
And then there’s the fact that I feel invisible when I go there. No one talks to me. No one even tries to make me feel welcome. And it’s not just me. They do the same to my daughter. Disgusting I know. But that’s how it is every…. single…. time. My husband goes off to talk to whoever and seems to forget that we came along. And then when the feeling of being uncomfortable gets to the point where I desperately want to leave (usually I give him an hour or two), he refuses to leave.
So, as you can probably imagine, I am not looking forward to spending any time of Christmas near his family. Yes I have been the bigger person and have taken the extra steps recently to include them in our lives. I’ve gone so far as to invite them over and go to there home a few times. The feeling hasn’t dissipated and I hate these times where I have to be fake and wear a smile when really I just wish these people had nothing to do with me. I’m trying to be the bigger person here.
So Christmas. It’s in two days and already my husband has asked me numerous times if we are going to go see his family. I suggested maybe we go after Christmas has past and of course he got upset. Not surprised. I just don’t want to ruin another holiday.
Take Thanksgiving. It started off great. We went to my moms, spent time with the kids and my grandfather who I see maybe twice a year. Then my dad got sick and had to go to the hospital. (He’s fine). So where do I end up? At his parents house where no one talks to me or tries to include me in anything. I am left out of every single picture. I am alone and my husband is having a great time. At least he’s happy right?
Ugh…. I really hate to dread Christmas… but I’m starting to. =(