I was perusing through wordpress searching for God knows what when I came across this blog…
… and immediately knew what my problem is. Maybe I don’t have what she called “Working mothers syndrome” but I have something and to be honest its becoming a pain in my ass.
I always want more.
Now don’t get me wrong. There is nothing bad about wanting more for yourself or aspiring to do or be or even have more… until it kicks you in the shins and slowly wears you down to the point of being miserable every day. Let’s be fair. I love my daughter and would not trade all or any of my past regrets because quite frankly without all those mistakes in my life I would not have her. (I might still have a baby but it wouldn’t be her exactly…. you see what I mean.)
I cant help it though. Every day I’m complaining.
I hate my job. It’s boring. I sit there for eight hours a day doing nothing but reading and blogging and staring into space. Of course there are plenty of people who would love that job however I feel like my life is wasting away. SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A WAY TO BE PRODUCTIVE AT WORK BEFORE IT DRIVES ME INSANE!!!!
I hate my marriage. Well maybe I shouldn’t have gotten married and maybe we should have broken up a long time ago but MAYBE I could try a little more to make it work. What could I try? I have no idea but there has to be something I could do to make this a more pleasant experience.
Blah, blah, blah, blah. I am tired of all this negativity. It is wearing me down from the inside out. I want to be more positive so my new goal for the month of October is to focus on the positives of my life. Do any of you find that easier said than done? Well, I’m always up for a challenge.