I’m just trying to find the switch.

Darkness is creeping in. I feel it every time he is around. His heart has turned so cold I’m not sure there’s any turning back for him now. I hope he doesn’t see how I’ve completely given up but at the same time I do. Oh how different my life could be.

The Lord will get me through this with or without him. He will be the one to pull me through. I’ve never held on to The Lord so tight. But now that I’ve got a hold there is no letting go. I pray and pray and pray there is an end in sight to this constant depression I find myself in.

My chest aches when I see you. A great ache that never really seems to go away. All you think about is yourself. Can you see me anymore? I’m standing here screaming for my life but can you hear me at all?

“Happiness is found in the darkest of places when one just remembers to turn on the light”

I’m trying to find the switch.




  1. That switch is Jesus. But I don’t think it’s one that you can flip and in a second you will see the light and feel better. I think it means surrendering your every moment to Him and as you draw near to Him in the darkest times of your life He will be your light that will guide you to the end of the dark tunnel. And you’ll get there, but it’s going to be a one day, one step at a time process. I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling so much, but I know God will get you through to the end and that you have hope of a better future to look forward to with Him by your side. Never give up!

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