Truth in Love.

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You have a decision to make. You can let me tell you the truth or tell you the lie. Lately, from all your circumventing I can tell you’d rather hear the lie. So here it goes. I love you and don’t ever want us to be apart. I want to make this work no matter how miserable it makes me. 


Now for the truth… I never really was good at lying.

I can’t do this anymore. Our fighting has gotten out of control. I feel like you hate me and I’m starting to believe that I hate you too. It’s over between us. I am done trying to make it work. It’s pointless. You’ll never change and neither will I. I don’t care who’s fault it is. I just want us to move in different directions. I want you and I to be over. If i could I would never see you again.

Here’s the truth, my version, of why I want things to end.

You use me and abuse me. For my car, my home, money, whatever your reason it’s there staring me in the face every time I see you. You’re so mean to me. Everyday you call me some name… bitch, cunt, POS, etc. It never seems to end. I’m sick and tired of everything you do to me. You think it’s all me and it’s not. You want to be mean to me, well I’m so sick  and tired of it that I am going to be twice as mean right back. I don’t understand why you are still here if you don’t want to be. I’m so confused.

Advice is much appreciated.

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16 comments

  1. Not sure what advice you are looking for…? I don’t know your story. If you haven’t had counselling yet to learn how to fight and communicate well, you should do that before you move into another relationship and realize that the problem is you.

      • I understand. Wish life were simpler. The first counsellor I went to let me have it, and I wasn’t ready to take that. It has taken me two other counsellors and about 9 months later, and I see the value in the words she said, but I was NOT ready to hear them. Don’t go until you are ready to listen. It’s a waste of money. (Just my 2 cents 🙂

      • That makes it hard 😦 Sometimes I think I would love to be a counsellor and just help others who can’t afford it. But there’s too much schooling and commitment, and I don’t have it in me to go through that at my age. I like to think that listening friends can help, as well as blogging. It certainly has had a major impact on my progress. I’m glad you are blogging. I hope you are able to find your way…it sucks feeling stuck. ((HUG))

  2. Take your time. Think about what you want and you actually need.
    My story is pretty simple – I was married for 13 years and had 2 kids, husband cheated, spent 12 months working out what i wanted, and finally decided it wasn’t him or our marriage – so I ended it! (and blogged about it too – wotwentwrite.com)
    By far it was the hardest thing I’ve even done has given me a new life and a fresh look at what happiness is.
    Hang in there – you are not alone.
    ~ Sarah ~

    • My story is way longer than what I wrote. Basically I’ve been through physical and emotional abuse, abandonment. And more. We’ve been together 5 years. Married for only 2 months. And have a 15 month old.

  3. I think this is the beginning of your blog…so this comment will be very out of date. I am interested to see how this all turns out. My advice is that this is abuse and you should leave. Obviously he has issues and needs help. however, you will go down a rabbit hole trying to fix it by yourself. Unless he is taking positive steps to change. the best thing for you and the baby is to get out. At least separate. Be safe. I can understand if you want to keep in touch and try to work things out. from a distance. Verbal abuse is just the beginning. You don’t want your daughter to learn that this is what husbands and daddys are supposed to be like. It will perpetuate the cycle of abuse in her life 20 years from now. her husband will call her a cunt and she will think it is to be as expected.

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