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I haven’t been sleeping much or eating much. I guess that’s to be expected. I haven’t seen him since September and I’ll see him in eight days. And not in the way I want to see him. I’m nervous. I hate how badly I wish things turned out differently. I hate missing him and the constant thought of him. I hate the way things are.
But enough of that. I promised myself to only look towards the positives in my life and that’s what I’m going to do.
Ariana and I spent some time together today. Some much needed time. I wish I could have more time with my kids but the duties of a single mom never end. I feel like I’m stretched so thin lately. I just want to spend time with my babies. We got best friend necklaces today. All in all it was a good day.
I’ve decided when I’m home to leave my phone in my room. It’s a good thing because the kids and I had a blast together New Year’s Day and I even let them ride their bikes around the house. We almost got through an entire movie without Maximus moving off the couch. It was a really great day. I can’t wait til this weekend. I think we’re going to paint rocks for the park we used to see him at. I think they would love that.
I’m ok mentally and emotionally. I’m doing everything I need to do to move forward with my life. Until tomorrow….